“Are you seeking charm and spunk and sass? You have come to the right Cat. I am Tiger Lily, I’m about 11 months old, and I have all the charm and spunk and sass you would expect someone named Tiger Lily to have. I don’t look like a Tiger or a Lily. No stripes – I’m solid black. No speckles like some lilies. Also not orange or yellow. Goodness knows there are enough orange cats here. There’s one dancing on my roof right now!”

“I do have the mind of a tiger and the sweetness of a lily – but I’m all Cat. Very Cat. Watch me as I put on my serene kitten look of total bliss. Oh, yes, I follow my bliss. That’s what brought me to Feline Rescue. See, Animal Control found me following my bliss. Cats aren’t supposed to follow theirs – not in the rules, don’t you know.”

“And what was I doing? This is my story. I don't like dogs - don't want to live with one. But - I hate garden gnomes. I just don’t like them at all. So I was headed through the neighborhood, tipping the dang things over. Didn’t eat them, didn’t bite them, just dumped the nasty things over, face down in the mud. Animal Control guy said, ‘Cat! You can’t do that!’ I said, ‘Oh, yes I can. Watch me. Over you go, you dopey gnome. Kerplop!’ And I got arrested. Yes. Arrested!”

“So here I am, sweet little me, Tiger Lily, looking for my Special People. I wash your hand, I give you little love bites, see how sweet I am? You don’t have any garden gnomes in your house, do you? No dogs, either. I don’t go outside, not any more. But if I see a gnome out the window, I shall put a girl cat curse on it! Pet me, love me, take me home. I am cute and cuddly and spunky and sassy, and I will love you, and you will love me. How about it? $120, and we go home together forever and ever. Did I mention – No Gnomes!”