“We are brother and sister and also best friends forever. I, JJ, will do the talking here but only because Elle asked me to. See, she is sitting up on top of that cabinet, looking out the window, and just can’t be bothered to come down and tell her story to a human. No such thing as too much human for JJ. I see a lap – just keep sitting – here I come! I put my long legs with white feet around your shoulder so I won’t fall off. OK! All settled in. What would you like to know?”

“How old are we? We’re about 7 years old. We are both very loving cats. We love each other. We love people. We are fine with children, as long as they are big enough that we know that they are neither other cats nor turkeys – also that they are old enough to not pull tails. We do not like tailpulling.”

“Nothing shy about JJ. I wouldn’t even know what the word means except that Elle explained it to me. She said it means cautious and quiet and keeping out of the way. Well, now, I’m pretty quiet, but, as you’ve noticed, I don’t stay out of the way. Nope. I stay right in your lap. And she stays on top of the cabinet so long as she knows where I am. She’s a lovely dilute calico, and she trusts me.”

“Me? JJ? Who am I? Other than a large bundle of soft, warm cat who is sitting on you – and intends to keep right on sitting on you? Sometimes I call myself a Daddy Longlegs – except I’m not really a Daddy – that I know of. I’m so soft – go ahead, feel free to pet me. I also call myself a Crop Circle Cat because I have tabby crop circles on my sides, not tabby stripes. Humans call me a ‘Classic Tabby’. I call me a Crop Circle Cat because…well, did you ever wonder where those circles come from? Yes’m, we cats do them – usually when the moon is full….”

“OK, enough of this talk. Are you going to adopt us – me and Elle – or not? We’re a pair, a team, two truly wonderful cats for just $230 – and lots and lots of love – from you to us – and us to you.”

“Oh, and by the way, if you want to take my picture, you’ll need to do it while I’m in your lap because I’m not moving. Kind of like a selfie, don’t you know? Potential forever people: please notice my totally blissful in-the-lap picture. Please notice how well-petted my fine fur is. All this could be yours! Hug me, adopt me, adopt my sis – yes!”