“Добрый день! And that, good people, is all the Russian that I know! I’m pleased to be called Boris; some of the finest cats on Earth call themselves Boris. But, truthfully, I’m not all that Russian. I’m much more Grey and White. I also don’t have a girl friend named Natasha. I was hoping to be cozy friends with that tabby calico that was sharing my suite, but she lured some people into adopting her. So, now I’m hoping to lure you into adopting Me! You’ll get a lot of Cat – and good cat, too – for your money!”

“I had some people. They just moved away and left me. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because they couldn’t see me because, well, I am a good-sized guy. I am a gentle galoot, just ambling in from the west. I like people very much. I sniff you so as to get to know you. Ah! I smell Cat Love on you. Other cats have been loving on you, and you let them do it. I’m guessing Boris might love on you, too? Boris might want to sit in your lap. Would you like Boris to sit on you?”

“Boris is a poised, self-assured cat. I do like to curl into corners and watch the world go by. I think deep thoughts and create kaleidoscopic cat fantasies in my smart and solid mind. If you gave me an iPad, I could write them up. Maybe they would be bestsellers! And, of course, I could download Dostoevsky and read him if I wanted to – but I don’t. I’d rather chew on this sisal mouse and then curl up and take a nap.”

“Yes, naps! Boris loves naps and people and good chicken. Boris sits serenely with his paws crossed and wills you with his good mind to adopt him. Bring $120 to the nice adoption woman and tell her that Boris is going home with you. May my powerful thoughts reach you and bring you to me. I am Boris, and I am gentle and just plain wonderful!”