“Oh, I’m so sorry! Did I get carried away and kick some litter on the floor? I am so sorry. I am Parker, and I am such a good cat. I certainly didn’t mean it. I’m slightly round and quite grey and just as goodhearted as a cat can be. I will snuggle to you. I will explore quietly. I love people. I do. I am so sorry about the sand. I think I’ll ask this nice woman to get me a tall litter box – maybe even one with a lid. What do you think?”

“I am Parker, and I am just a plain and simple very good fellow. I found myself a group of friendly feral cats and hung out with them. They knew where all the food was. But I was far from feral. I am a people cat. I hung with the feral folks because they knew things that I did not, and I wanted to keep all nine of my lives. So when the TNR (trap-neuter-release) people came to our space, I said, ‘Guess what? I’m friendly. I’m Parker, and I am looking for real people.”

“I enjoy the luxury of sitting here washing myself, showing off how clean I can be. I enjoy the luxury of moving around this room, sticking my head under things, checking for monsters – and mice. And I enjoy talking to people. I don’t stop moving for very long because I might miss something interesting. You look interesting. Are you interested in me? I am Parker, and I’m gentle and goodhearted. About the tail? I’m thinking of getting some extensions. I’d like to have more tail, a fluffier tail. What do you think? Pink would go nicely with my grey coat and green eyes. Hmmm.”

So stop in at Feline Rescue and ask for Parker. I’m not a pushy fellow. I’m kind and well-mannered, too. I could sit in a lap, I think. It’s just been a while. Bring me a toy or two and some good food. And bring these nice people $120 for my room and board – and for more box sand.”