“Hi! Mow! Mau! Moww! I’m a Cat, a very black, very sweet, people-loving Cat. Moww! I nuzzle on you; I love on you. I really want you to love me back. How about it? Somebody dumped me here. I don’t know who, and I don’t know why. Why would anyone not want a young, strong – feel my muscles – guy cat who loves people and keeps his feet clean? I’m told that this place, Feline Rescue, is the best place for a Cat Guy to find his forever people. I am ready for you.”

“Yes, the name is Panther. I understand that, to get the life one wants, one must believe in it. I am believing that I am a Panther. I will get bigger and bigger and sit in trees. I tried to turn myself in at The Wildcat Sanctuary. I said, ‘Hi, I am a Panther and I am looking for my forever home. I heard that Diablo Guapo and Shazam live here, so how about me?’ They say, ‘Listen, sweetie, you’re very nice and very handsome, but Shazam is a leopard, and Diablo Guapo is a jaguar, and, well, you’re just not quite big enough to live here.’”

“It broke my little cat heart to be turned away, but they did tell me about Feline Rescue – said they knew about it from the Internet Cat Video Festival. So, how about you adopt me, and we’ll make an Internet Video – starring me – and we’ll be famous – even if I’m not big enough to be a jaguar or a leopard or even a Panther. Wait a minute, my name is Panther – and I’m sleek, so….”

“True, I purr much more than I roar, but I could work on it. Or we could just buy a roaring sound track for my video, so I’ll sound good on YouTube. Mow! Mau! Roarrr! Rrroarrr! I’m a fun guy – and a nice guy – a really nice guy. And the only thing I love more than people is my munchies. Yum! How about $120 for me? And we stop at a market on our way home and get a nice bag of good munchies? Get yourself some Doritos if you want.”