“Hey, hey hi! I’m friendly, I love people, and I’m Fergus. Did you know that, right now, there are three Scottish clan chiefs named Fergus? Excellent company for me! And I looked me up in Wikipedia, and it says I have an honorable and ancient name – and that it means ‘"man-strength" or "virility"! Hey, I’m just repeating what I read!”

“ I’m orange and white and slightly fluffy. I love people! I love people so much that I must stand up and put my paws on you. I love people so much that I forgive you for waking me up from my afternoon beauty sleep. Oh, yes, white and orange guy cats need beauty sleep. We do! When I wake up, I sing. Would you like me to sing you an Irish lullaby? ‘Too ra loora loora, too ra loora ligh…’ I didn’t say I would sing it on key!”

“Ooh, yeah! Look at this! A cat house! I mean a house for a cat! I’m a cat – it must be mine! In I go – now am I charming and adorable in here or what!! I do think that grey girl cat likes me – keeps circling my house and trying to find my behind so she can sniff it. I stay in my great little house.”

“Uh, oh! Here comes that rapscallion youngster, stripes and all! ‘Now, listen, kid, this is my house. Out!’ ‘No, don’t sail over the top of me and my house, either!’ Would somebody please adopt me and take me – and my house – away from that child??! Or adopt the child – take him to your place to terrorize you!”

“I am Fergus, likely of Scottish descent, and surely of love and affection and occasional vocalization. I put my paws on you again. Bring $120, and take me where wild kittens don’t leap and bound. Fergus loves you!”