Do you like those animal adventure movies – like "Ratatouille" and "Stuart Little" and "Madagascar"? Well, sit yourself down, and listen to my real-life adventure story. My adventure wasn't crafted in Hollywood. Nope, happened right in beautiful not-quite-downtown Roseville. Let this also be a lesson for you and for my brothers and sisters in the tailed, pointed-ear community about why feline folk must learn to stay indoors. Plenty enough stuff Inside to be Curious about – stuff that's interesting but not dangerous.

So: I was out for an investigative stroll, looking here and there to see what I might see. I saw a dark cranny. I smelled many things. I heard a rustle. Into the cranny I went to check it out. Before I could say, "Sewer!" I was in one. And couldn't get out. Uh, oh. I could see out, but I couldn't jump far enough. In the meantime, you think Ratatouille was cute? Well, maybe he was, but sewer rats are not. I could hear them talking, "Hee, hee, heh, heh. There's a cat. Our chance to get even – finally. She thinks she's smart...."

I cried, "Help! Help! I am a dear, friendly cat, and I have fallen in the sewer and can't get up. Help! Help! The rats are after me! Help!" Pretty soon, I could hear a big truck above me, and I could see that it was red – bright red. People in uniforms jumped off the truck, opened the sewer cranny, and lifted me out. "Poor girl," they said, "what were you doing in there?" And I could hear the sewer rats, "Rats! The cat got away. Dratted humans." The people consoled me.

Pretty soon, more humans came, in a black-and-white car with flashing lights. I thought they'd sent for this car because its colors matched mine. But no. They said they were police – not sure what that means – must mean Friends of Cats – because they took me to a cat hospital to be sure I was OK. I got to ride in the car with the flashing lights and everything. I purred and purred and thanked them all. I am a sweet, friendly lap cat who wants nothing more than a sweet, friendly human or two with laps – and Indoor Curiosities I might explore. I am done with those sewer rats – Ugh! Just show up with $100 for my new friends here and take me home. Your car doesn't need flashing lights. Your truck doesn't need to be red. One adventure is enough for one cat, don't you think?