“Hello, hello! I am James, a fine young man with a big boy head, and I like nothing more than a person who’ll scratch my big boy head and tell me how sweet I am. I am not Jimmy or Jim; I am James. It’s not that I’m snooty or even British or even super dignified. I am none of those things. I’m laid back and mellow and put on no airs. Why am I James? Because I like the sound of it. It rings a bit, like a bell. Jim is a drumbeat; James is a well-tuned xylophone.”

“I am grey; I am white. I’m a year or two old – not very old. I am fully Cat – not part tiger or giraffe or dog – just Cat. I guess I’m a Minnesota Cat. I’m well above average, but I’m not at all a show-off. I don’t do magic tricks or yowl ‘Look at meee! Look at meee!’ I like to sit gently and purr, purr a lot. I can do laps. I give soft nuzzles to people. I am a fine young man, James.”

“I vaguely remember some people. I think they just moved away and left me behind. Now, how could people do such a thing? I’m kind, gentle, friendly, loving. You can pet me and talk to me, and I will talk back quietly. I don’t think I sing in the night. I am just a good, good guy. Me – James.”

“I’ve come to Feline Rescue looking for you – my real people, my forever people, my Minnesota people who’ll know an above-average Cat when they meet one. I feel happy now. I feel happy because you’re petting my big guy head and talking to me. This is so good. I am so happy. I eat munchies to show you how happy I am. I will be even happier when you adopt me. Only $120. And I will eat even more munchies. Stop in and tell me how sweet I am!”