“Agatha, a fine 18^th-century name for a lady. And I certainly am a lady. And a lovely lady, too. I am more than long-haired – and also more than fluffy. I am soft and beautiful, with white feet and tiger legs, and just about all of the colors of the cat fur rainbow. No green or blue but, otherwise, I am everywoman. If a fine human wanted to replicate my colors, the human would spend much time and more money at her salon.”

“However, since I am a cat woman, I have just grown myself this way. I may have Siberians or Maine Coons or Norwegian Forest cats in my family tree. Or, maybe, I am just beautiful. Come see me, come look at me. Come over and say, ‘Agatha, you are gorgeous. Do stroll down the runway and show off.’”

“I enjoy people. I am old-fashioned enough to sit with you while you have a cup of tea. I am modern enough to appreciate canned tuna and chicken and to prefer both to hunting prey. A girl could mess up her fine fur, slinking through fields hunting prey. Burrs and branches and all. This girl doesn’t care to do that.”

“I am Agatha, and I would much like to purr and praise my forever people who bring me good food. I am friendly. I am also alert and observant. I watch everything, and I study to see what I might learn. I watch other cats, but, to be honest, I am not very fond of them. They are just so ordinary – compared to me, of course. I think a lot. I would like to sit and think with you. Do you suppose I might? I would sit elegantly, be perfect décor and an excellent friend.”

“I am Agatha, and, OK, I am beautiful. $120 brings my beauty and friendship into your life. It won’t, however, transform your hair into a glory like mine.”