“People, people, people! You’ve just got to come see me! My photographers really tried – they did. But you just won’t believe how cute and adorable and downright interesting I am until you see me for yourself. And I suppose you’ll probably want to take me home with you. Well…OK. Maybe I’ve got the legendary milk mustache. Maybe I have storm cloud eyes that rain down my face. You decide – I just know I am a precious young guy, and I’m black and white! It’s all in the face!”

“Hey, hey – look at that – right through that window! See her? She looks like me! She’s black and white, too. She’s talking to me – she’s saying, ‘Hi, there, cutie – want to fool around?’ I say, ‘Brrrp! Brrrp!’ That means, ‘Sure, why not?’ Now, she left – went someplace else. But, wait – there’s still a black and white cat out there. ‘No, silly boy, that’s you – reflected in the glass.’”

“Well, then, I’ll just come over here and see you! I put my sleek black and white legs up on your leg, and I tell you my sad story. A saintly human rescued me and took me to a veterinarian after some evil humans captured me and swung me around by my tail. I don’t think they were real humans. Must have been swamp slime that shape shifted. Whatever they were, they hurt my back. I spent over three months at the vet. I’m still in some kind of rehab, but I can run and jump again, and I so hope to grow up to be the fabulous cat I am meant to be.” "I'm still at the clinic but I get to run around their treatment room when it's quiet around here. My posting lists me as 'special needs' - the only special needs I require is lots of love, playtime and making sure that I, hmm, produce urine on a regular basis."

“OK – enough of the sad stuff. I’m still a joyful young cat. I play with all the toys. I carefully wash myself – a fastidious sort – get the swamp slime off forever – make myself handsome for my real people. Look into my solid gold eyes and my exclusive designer face – I am Short Stop. I need a well-used fielder’s mitt – and some great people with $120. I’m adorable, and I’m so interesting.”