“Good day to you, fine person! Yes, you may call me Noodles. It’s what I call myself so that people won’t be intimidated by my brilliant mind and my guru tendencies. Just imagine if I called myself Socrates or Confucius! I was out in the world, following my bliss, which is what philosopher cats do. Along came Animal Control and said, ‘You don’t look like Joseph Campbell to us. You look like a Cat, and we prefer that Cats not walk our realm seeking their bliss – or mice, for that matter.’ Well, at least, they sent me to Feline Rescue!”

“I do admit to being a Feline – and one with a brilliant mind and excellent thoughts. I love people. I talk to people. I hope people will talk to me. Am I a guru? Do I feel like a guru to you? I think so. I will advise you – and climb on you and encourage you to pet me. Awah? Awah! Play with me. I will play with you. Show me the feather wand! Oh, yes! Awah!”

“The folks around here say that I likely have Turkish Van ancestors because I have washes of blue on my head and a faint trace of red on my tail. Turkish Vans came from – guess! – Lake Van in Turkey. People say we are very intelligent and strong. Wikipedia says that we ‘invent fishing games in the toilet.’ We’ve also been seen pawfishing in our water bowls. Woo! Hoo! Want to find out if I’m a guru who hands out wise advice and plays fishing games in your toilet?”

“Of course you do! And I have an easy way for you to find out. Adopt me! Yes. Adopt Noodles – a wise middle-aged fellow with a great mind. Provide me with a small piece of cat furniture that I may use as my mountain because every guru needs a mountain. Only $120 adopts this high-minded and affectionate fellow with the gentle name of Noodles. Might want to install an extra toilet, though – one for you – and one for my fishing…”