“Well, well. Looks like a human. Looks like a human looking at me! Well! I am Sandy. I am handsome, orange, very orange, and I talk a lot. You, as a two-legged, may pet me and talk to me and be my friend. However, I must tell you the facts, the reality, the How It Is: I Do Not Like Other Cats. I mean I Really Don’t Like Them. Yes, you heard me yelling obscenities at a couple of folks on the other side of that door. And that little girl cat? You don’t want to know what she said to me. She was not politically correct. Not at all.”

“Two-leggeds I like. I’d like to have one, maybe even two, of my very own. Pretty much full-grown ones, please. So, if you’re thinking about a four-legged for your family, you might want to think about Sandy. He likes people, he tells stories, and he’s handsome with a strong – and interesting – personality. No other four-leggeds, though. Do Not Like Other Cats. Also not fond of dogs or rabbits and I might mistake a gerbil for dinner. As for things with six or eight or many legs, Sandy believes they should be eaten and/or knocked off the wall.”

“Would you like to pet me? I’m looking for at least one two-legged friend who will call me her or his forever cat and tell her friends that Sandy is Her Cat. Sandy will protect his person or people from other cats, should they look in our windows. I’ll sit with my person, maybe even be a lap cat. We’ll try it, won’t we? Among cats, however, I am what you two-leggeds call an Alpha Male. In other words, I am Vladimir Putin with a lot more hair – a lot more. And I smile more, too.”

“Sandy is colorful to see and to hear and to watch. I haven’t invaded anything lately, and the only thing I hope to invade is that big barrel of cat munchies that I see. Off comes the lid, in goes Sandy! Whoee!! The best thing for you to do is come to Feline Rescue with $120 and take Sandy home before I get the lid off. Because once I do…Whooee!”