“Hello! I am Theonia, and I am a regal, well-schooled woman. I say I’m grey and white, and I pose properly with my tail politely curled around my feet. I come with a lovely designer coat. The artist must have spent hours just choosing my colors and blending them together to create me ‘just so’. I hear people say how beautiful I am, but I am so much more.”

“I am Theonia, an old Greek name. If you look for me online, you will find Hotel Theonia in Greece. You will also find me as a character in some video games. But not this Theonia. This Theonia is Me, and I am pure cat, and I do not wield swords nor flash lights. If I speak, I speak quietly – and with good grammar – such as the language of Cat has grammar.”

“I say that what you perceive as mere beauty is, in fact, my wisdom. I look at you with knowing eyes, and I draw you to me. I believe I may have been a sacred tomb guard in ancient Egypt. Many cats were, but only those of us who passed the hardest tests were chosen to watch over the eternal life of royalty. I believe I did this for several years. Then someone painted my picture on the wall of the tomb. If you go to Egypt, you may see me.”

“But you do not need to travel that far. Travel just to Feline Rescue, and you will see the living, breathing, loving, soft, three-dimensional Theonia that hopes, in this life, to be your forever cat. Yes, I am a Wise Woman, and I came here from way up north to find you – my forever people – and share my wise perceptions with you. Also to play with you, purr to you, sing to you and love you. When you come to Feline Rescue, which I will you to do, bring $120 and we will journey off together.”