“Yo, people! Your cat is here – also your producer, director, and actor – me – Hollywood. I am mellow, laid back, not one of those uptight East Coast cats. Pet me, and I sit with you. I will, however, nudge you and direct you in the ways in which I would like you to go. It’s a cat thing. Come talk to me!”

“I understand there’s some discussion about the orange stripe on my head. Is it real, or did that silly cat stumble into the Golden Gate Bridge when the paint was wet? How about this? I got into a fight with a Popsicle – and it won. Except I ate it. Maybe it’s mine – and maybe it’s not. I’m not sayin’. I’m taking my woodie out to Malibu for some surfing. We’ll see if the stripe is still there when I get back, OK?”

“I need people in my life, humans, real people, not ones pretending to be somebody they’re not like entirely too many in Hollywood. Authenticity, integrity, simplicity – that’s what Hollywood is hoping for. Have you got it? Would you take me home? I can purr, sit at your feet, sit in your lap, and drape myself on your windowsills. I believe in naps, lots of naps, and also chicken soup and ice cream. “

“Other cats are OK with me, so long as they are kind and gentle and believe more in naps than in high drama. I may be Hollywood, but I don’t do high drama. Not even low drama. So I don’t care much for the histrionics of that spotted tabby woman. Carries on like Norma Desmond – and then corners other folks. Me, Hollywood – I stay away from corners. Can’t be cornered if you’re all flopped out in the middle of the floor.”

“So, people! I am here, and I am Hollywood, and I am adoptable. I may be all white – or I may be mostly white with an orange stripe. I’m not sayin’. What I do say is that $120 sends me home with you for a little nudging and napping and floor-flopping. How about it?”