“So I was standing on a boulevard, holding up my sign ‘Will Purr For Food’, and the animal control officer came along and said, ‘You can’t do that.’ And I said, ‘I can’t purr? Of course I can purr; I’m a cat!’ And she said, ‘I’m sure you can purr, but you can’t stand on the boulevard with a sign. So you’ll need to come with me.’”

“I said to her, ‘So, can you purr?’ She said, ‘No, I’m not a cat. I think I’ll send you to Feline Rescue where you can discuss purring and other cat things with other cats.’ So here I am. My name is Osseo – because that’s what it is – and I’m about 8 months old. I’m a fluffy fellow with some white fur, some tabbiness, and a totally dramatic black and tabby tail. People notice the tail. I say, ‘Hey, there’s a cat attached to that tail, me!’ I’m Osseo, I love to play. Show me the toys!”

"Hey, I just discovered laps! Humans have laps! Just the right size for a cat bed, too. I flop down in your lap. Sure, on top of your stuff - it's there for me, right? Then I purr - and purr and purr.

“Why am I Osseo? Well, it’s not because I’m bony. Must be named for the towns – one in Minnesota, and one in Wisconsin. Of course, maybe the towns were named for me! I think I’m special enough to have some towns named for me, don’t you? I’m very sweet, very friendly, happy to sit in your lap. I chirp, I trill, I have big alert eyes, and a fine tabby cloak around my ears. I’d name a town for me!”

“I will, in fact, purr for food. Also chirp and meow for it. I found a good brush for my special tail – would you happen to have a little conditioner I could use, too? I am Osseo, and I am planning to be your cat. Please stop over to Feline Rescue so we can meet. Do bring $120 because it seems a guy can’t pay for food with purring alone.”