“Hello, are you ready for a stunning tortie to catch your eye and steal your heart? I am that stunning tortie with a face that, where it is orange, it is very, very orange – and where it is not, it is not. I’m catching your eyes with my very green ones – rather mesmerizing I am – and I say so. I also say I am the overseer of the universe – because I am – and I say so.”

“Calabash is many things. Calabash is a squash, a gourd, a cucurbita. The kind you can grow and dry and hang on the walls for funky decorations. Calabash is also some kind of software that does things with apps. I don’t do things with apps – unless they are edible and tasty – then I might. And, are you old enough to remember – or, at least, to have heard of, ‘Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are!’ Only my closest friends know that Jimmy Durante was saying ‘Goodnight!’ to me! I am Calabash, and I am many things.”

“Mostly, Calabash, duchess with a laughing face, would like to become your personal Cat Person. I had a human Person, but she got too ill to open my food cans and haul the unmentionables. So I’ve come here to find you, hoping you’ll be my very closest friend. I have a very clean white bib – and fabulous white whiskers on my stunning tortie face – even where it is orange – and also where it is not.”

“I’d like to dedicate myself to being your lap cat and your couch cat and your end-of-the-bed and on-your-feet cat. I don’t much tolerate snippy kittens – ‘Sit down, you little snip, and listen to my wisdom.’ But I’m ready for my person. Please bring your $120, and let’s go home. Oh, and ‘Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are!’”