“Hi! I’m soft, fluffy, and quiet – and – my name is Rambo. I’m about as nonviolent as a Cat can be – although I would take down any vermin that might cross my path. Nevertheless, I am clearly a masculine sort of guy. I look bigger than I am – lots of stylish fur. True, I was more masculine before the veterinarian caught up with me, but I’m still a serious guy cat who does not start wars.”

“People ask me, ‘So, are you a Maine Coon or a Siberian or a Norwegian Forest Cat?’ I say, ‘I don’t know. I never asked. What matters is that I Am Me!’ Tell you what else I am! I’m a three-legged. If humans are two-leggeds and Cats are four-leggeds, Rambo is a three-legged! I lost one a while back, but I’m just fine without it. Not in need of any assistive technology. Watch this! I grab this toy vermin, and I roll it over, and I roll me over, and I give it the old kick! Kick! Kick! with my remaining back leg. Ready to play! Ready to play!”

“A handsome, fluffy, well-furred high-stepping, high-kicking three-legged! That’s me. That’s Rambo, and I certainly hope to be your friend! Would you like to be my two-legged? Bring me good canned food? I also like people who pet my thick blended fur, and I like long warm naps in my warm cat bed. I don’t even mind when the spotted hooligan interrupts my nap. Says he wants to play. Says he wants to roll and tussle. I think he’s after my soft cat bed!”

“I am Rambo, and I am a happy fellow – contented like a cow most of the time. I do hugs. I probably would do a lap or two if you asked me. As long as I am warm and well-fed and well-loved, I am happy Rambo, and I do not rumble nor riot nor ruckus. A handsome, self-assured fellow.”

“I think you need me in your life. I think you want me in your life. Would you like to stop by Feline Rescue with about $120, take Rambo home to be your forever cat? Of course you would – sorry, but no discount for the lost leg. On the other hand, I don’t charge for the extra fur, either.”