“Hi, there! Come in! Come in! I am a long, lean, tuxedo-ish love machine. I’m a guy, a pure guy, and people call me Spot! Actually, what I have – on my back – is more like a smear – of white, not so much a Spot. Still, if I remind you of a dog in a childhood book, I’m good with that – as long as you’re reminded of Me! Me! Me! Long, lean, love machine!”

“Sit down! Sit down! Human, I stand on you! I sit on you! I head bump you! I am Spot – and I am pure love – pure guy love! I sit down in your lap. I tuck my handsome black and white head into your elbow, and I squeak. Are you surprised that such a delicate squeak comes from such a large, robust cat! It’s my love squeak, and I am loving on you!”

“Yes, I am a handsome guy. I’m so pleased that you noticed. I’m charming, just charming. Am I charming you? I’m working on it. One thing: please tell that tiny black girl cat to back off! Spot is a brave and bold guy, but she is half my size and twice my age, and she is saying nasty four-letter cat words at me. Yes, At Me! Not just To Me! At Me! And for no good reason – except that I am a long lean love machine. You think she’s in love?”

“Perhaps we could discuss a permanent, forever connection? Spot seeks warm home with warm people, laps to sit in, elbows to nuzzle, good food to eat – all those good things for a good guy cat! Ooh, yes – pet me – give me a head bump. I am Spot – a people cat – a cat for people – seeking someone on whom I can stand! I could tell secrets, too. Are you persuaded? I hope? Come to Feline Rescue with $120, cover my room and board, and take me home and love me. So simple, so wonderful!”