“Hey, there, good afternoon! I am Ice, and I’m not white. Oh, I’ve got some white parts but, mostly, I’m quite orange – soft, fluffy peachy orange. I say I’m a cat and pleased to be one. I’m a young guy – maybe one or two years. I’m here because I had some people – and they just moved away and left me behind. I don’t think they were raptured or seized by aliens. I think they just moved on. Lucky for me someone else got me to Feline Rescue!”

“I’m bright-eyed, curious, and friendly. Something you should want to know about me. I like to use my teeth. No, I don’t bite. I chew. I am looking for things to chew. I especially like to chew toys that I can get my paws around and put in my mouth. This stringy ball here is perfect. Actually, so is your arm. See? I don’t bite – I just wrap myself around you and gnaw gently. Did you know that your arm tastes of cat munchies? I have a whole bowlful here.”

“I’m a playful guy cat, just looking to have fun. I am not cold, I am not white, and I am also not Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Heavens! Now it’s true that, if a bunch of mousies were sneaking across the border – or into your house, I might dispatch them, but that’s not my real job. My real job is entertaining people, and I am looking for permanent, real, forever people to entertain.

“And, no, I may be called Ice, but I am not Vanilla Ice, and I don’t rap. I might sing alley folk songs every now and then, but no rapping. I’d like to cuddle on you and gently gnaw your arm. I’ll purr while I gnaw – really I will. I’m goodhearted and bright-eyed. I need people friends and cat food. How about $120 for a sassy young man? How about it?”