“Hi, hi, my, my! I am Snowshoe. I am disguised as a bunny, but I am not a bunny. I am much smarter than a bunny. I am a real, live, genuine cat. A Cat! A Cat! Me. Snowshoe!”

“Let’s see…I have toes. Lots of toes. Really. Lots of ‘em. Not sure how many – I can’t count that high, but lots of ‘em. And curly ears. I have curly ears. Not a lot of ear but what I’ve got is curly. Some people say frostbite. Some people say vermin. Snowshoe says not true. I had full, wiggly rabbit-style ears. Some idiot mistook rabbit ears for rabbit feet and ran off with my ears, thinking they’d be good luck. Hah! Of course, like I said, I’m not a rabbit. Am I funning you? Probably. And I am amusing me.”

“I’m very sweet and soft and mellow. I am sugary like cotton candy – come to think of it, I rather look like cotton candy. You can cuddle me, and I’m not at all sticky. Not at all. But I sure would like to be loved and cuddled and admired. Sure would.”

“I came all the way from northern Minnesota – which is why the frostbite story is the most likely story about the ears. Oh, and one thing I don’t have – I have no claws. Some fool human seems to have removed them. Maybe they thought cat claws were lucky. Fool humans – claws are lucky only for cats who keep them – so as to defend ourselves against things that, well, we need to defend ourselves against.”

“Let me make sure you got it all. I am Snowshoe, a real, live genuine smart Cat. I have lots of toes, no claws, and curly ears. I am all white. Completely white. Soft, cuddly, and ready for love. I hate to say this, but money can buy you love. $120 can take Snowshoe to your place to be your forever Cat. Sounds good to me!”