“Remember the kid from the Andy Griffith Show? Of course you do – unless you’re too young – in which case I’m sure you can learn all about Opie Taylor on YouTube or Netflix. And you’d want to do that before you adopt me because you should know that, while friendly and cheerful, Opie Taylor also has a solid streak of ‘wild child’. Woohoomeeuu!”

“I’m young and white and striped and hoping to kiss your ear! I’d like a bigger room than this one because I need space – space to work up a full head of steam and sail across the room. Sail across the room and click my clipped claws on the floor, floor, floor. I can stop on a dime before I crash into the water bowl. Then I turn straight around and go the other way. Woohoomeeuu!”

“I have a tabby tail – very tabby, very tail – and the cutest lil’ black and brick nose you ever saw. I’m spunky and punky, and I love to play. If you pet me, I purr. If you tickle me, I squeak. Squeeeaakk! If you hold me, I will purr and kiss your ear. I say I’m a fine young man. I say I’m about 6 months old and planning to grow up to be a very fine cat. Now I have to say this quietly, but, could you fill up my munchie bowl? I know I’m not supposed to fill it up until 6:30 when the food lady comes, but….Aww, please….”

“I came all the way from northern Minnesota just to find my people. A long trip – but if you’re as special as I think you are, it’s gonna all be worth it. ‘Cause I am as special as I think I am! I am! Come play with me! There was a calico woman sharing my suite for a while. I think I might have been in love with her. But she just said, ‘Opie, you’re so young, barely even a teenager. I am a grown woman!’ I am still special! She’ll be sorry.”

“So, would you like to adopt me? Of course you would. Just come down here to Mayberry – I mean Feline Rescue – bring $120, and ask for Opie Taylor! I’m ready! Woohoomeeuu!”