“Hot! Hot! Hot! That would be me, Tabasco! I am the color of flames, and, come the dead of winter, I will be warm, warm, warm on your feet(or your lap) because, well, I am big, big big! I am what Elvis called a ‘hunka hunka hunk of burning love’. Need love? Here I am. I am Tabasco! Ajua!”

“Truth – real truth – I weigh in at 22 pounds. I am almost too heavy to be a jockey! I’m told animal control found me out walking around, living it up. Must have been a neighborhood with a high class of garbage – scraps of steak, lobster tails, probably even caviar – can’t remember – but I wasn’t a poor, starving stray cat – not Tabasco. I’m actually looking for some people who will help me lose some of this weight. I’m too big to do cat things – like jump on your counters…Oops – forget I said that!”

“I’m about as lovey as a cat can be. I offer head bumps, serious, experienced purring, complete, all-round cat affection with stripes! I’ve got a wise and worldly face. I just can’t wait to give you some of my hot, spicy, warm cat guy love. Hugs to you! Hugs! Ajua!”

“Tabasco is a professional cat. I do all the things that a cat should do – and probably a few that one shouldn’t – like about the counters….Tabasco knows what to do and how to do it. Purring? Yes’m. Toy tossing? Oh, yes. Mousewhacking? It could happen. Tabasco is never confused. He’s a cat – a lot of cat!”

“He’s seeking people who are very people, so that he can continue to be very cat. I’m serious about losing a bit of my physical substance while keeping my soul and spirit intact. You could be thin humans who set a good example for me – or pudgy humans who’d like to exercise and diet with me. We could run on the treadmill together! Plus size cat for the price of regular - $120. Come on over for a heartfelt head bump! Ajua!”