“Good day, good people. Looks like the Intake Person was hungry when I showed up, too. The veterans told Tortilla that’s how he got his name, and he told me. Somehow, I can’t quite believe she was thinking Barley wrapped in a Tortilla with a bit of Tabasco sauce, can you? Humans, can’t understand them!”

“So, anyway, I’m another excellent, well-built tabby fellow with serious black stripes – kind of tiger-like, I suppose. I say I’m a handsome guy, maybe even a dude. When I got here, I had a bad cold, but I’m feeling much better – and I’m hungry – and I’d prefer some tuna and salmon with no Tabasco sauce.”

“I know my sign says I was a ‘stray’. Let me tell you that’s nonsense. I was on walkabout – ask any human from down under or a passing kangaroo about walkabout. I was learning many things and had many places to go, too. I am a handsome fellow with all of both of my ears. I have a wise face and freckles with my whiskers. Now what more could a person want in a cat! I also have a pure clay-colored nose. All my features go together very well!”

“I know myself. I know who I am. I am confident. I think people are great, especially people who pet me and feed me and say, ‘Oh, Barley, you’re a fine cat, come sit with me, come talk to me,’ and then pet me some more. The fellow upstairs worries if we’re safe here. I told him, ‘Look – is it raining in here?’ ‘Well, no….’ ‘Then we’re safe – eat your dinner – maybe we’ll get more!’”

“People, I think your life needs a cat named Barley. That’s not Barleycorn – just Barley. I think you need these great black stripes. I think you need me! Come with your $120, and we’ll go home together!”