“Hello, hello! We are two tabby kittens, maybe 8 months old. We are, of course, Brother Hansel and Sister Gretel, and we are tabby – very tabby. We suppose Mom and Dad were tabbies, too. Tabbies are the best. Gretel has shorter hair than Hansel. She is the girl. Hansel is a young gentleman, enjoys wearing a mullet.”

“Yes, we’re a bit shy and a bit scared – We were, after all, chased through the forest by a bad witch! Our foster mom assured us there are no witches here, but we want to be absolutely sure. We came out to run around and play at our foster home. We loved the other cats – and even the dog. We are cute as cute can be. We are so loving and affectionate with people we trust, people who respect us. We’re even happy with good witches. It’s bad ones of which we’re afraid. Cast spells that protect us! That would be good!”

“We’d like some petting and hugging and reassurance, please. We learned many good things from all the great role model cats we had at our foster home. They told us, ‘Go forth Hansel and Gretel, and find your forever people. They will find you at the shelter – and you will find them.’ They taught us to purr and to chase toys and to say, ‘Hi! Person! Will you be our person?’”

“We are two great, sweet tabbies. We do not like gingerbread – especially not when it’s shaped like a house with marshmallows and sugar plums on the roof. Don’t even mention it to us! But do make sure to ask for our favorite toys and goodies that our foster people left for us to take to our new home – with you, of course! Our foster people want to be sure that we live happily ever after, just like the original Hansel and Gretel finally did. We’re hoping to adopt you. Come see us, bring goodies, $260 for both of us, and – no gingerbread, please. Maybe persimmon pudding with a bit of tuna on the side.”