“Hi, ah-yi! Ah-yi-yi-yi! I’m a tabby-tortie girl, and, sorry, but I sing off key. I had a voice teacher, but she fired me – said there was no hope. But I sing anyway because I am a happy girl, and happy cats sing. Tiger Lily thinks I’m bossy. Ha! She is the bossy one. I’m just in charge of everything.”

“I love people. Pet me, pet me. I will sit in your lap and stare down from on high at Tiger Lily. Also at Lukas and at the Herb Girls. I will just sit and sit and purr sometimes. I say to them, ‘Ha, ha – I have the human – all mine. Go get your own human!’ When I get me a human, I am very happy. I would like a permanent, forever human, even a whole family full probably.”

“Actually, I’m not a Tortellini. I’m a Cat. I will eat tortellinis – tuna tortellinis, also stuffed with mouse pate. I prefer Alfredo sauce to red sauce or clams, and I do not intend to share with Tiger Lily. Ah-yi-yi-yi! Off I go across the room, give that orange cat a hiss just because I can. Not because I’m mean or mad – just because I can – and yes, I also hiss off-key. I leap at the twirling toy. May I sit in your lap some more?

“I was one of those homeless, outdoor, single moms. No more of that. I went to MNSNAP. I’m a lady now – except that, every now and then, I swear a bit. Afraid I learned that from some ferals I met. But I never taught bad words to my babies. If you’ll adopt me, I won’t say them in front of you – or your babies, either. Yes, my bad words are pretty much off-key, too. Maybe that’s why they sound so bad. Pet me, let me sit in your lap. Bring your $120, and adopt me. I will adopt you!”