“Hee – hee! Ho-ho-ho! People call me Lady, but I am a scamp. I am silly, and I like nothing better than laughing at myself. Zoom! I sail past you! Zoom! I sail past myself!. I am called Lady, but I am an orange tabby and a Cat. I have genuine Celtic crop circles on my sides. I know – it’s hard to see them when I’m moving – which I pretty much always am. I’m pretty sure I’m not more than 2 years old and, probably, younger.”

“I like toys and I like people. I like to play – oh, I do like to play! I jump. I swing. I sail. I skittle. I am called Lady. I am hoping and wishing that someone would bring me a trapeze. In fact, two trapeze (trapezes?) would be better. I could leap and swing and then catch and swing until, finally, I’d run out of trapeze – and then I’d hang from the Feline Rescue bulletin board and sing: ‘Left a good job in the city, workin’ for the man ev’ry night and day…’ Aroo! Am I a Lady? You decide!”

“I’m not at all sure about other cats. I grant you, there are some good ones out there. Might even be some good ones in here. Might even be some good ones at your house. Maybe? But I was out and about and saw many cats and also dogs and owls and squirrels. I love people who love cats, especially rare orange girl cats with sacred circles – especially ones in need of trapezes. But other cats? Guilty until proven innocent, I say.”

“I’m not snooty or fussy. I am proud that I came here from animal control. I know my way through the world. I know my way through this hotel, too. ‘Sail away, sail away, sail away…’ I am Lady and I sail away. I’m ready to sail away to your place, offer you charm and entertainment. You have trapezes, maybe? Do you swing on them? Show up here at this cat hotel with $120 in your pocket and adopt me! Hee-hee!”