“Come sit with me, come talk to me, I will talk to you. My name is Admiral; I have so many stripes I must be an Admiral, don’t you think? Somewhere around here, I have my own ship – the USS Litter Box! I sailed it all the way down the Mississippi from Red Lake Rosie’s place. Here I am! A people cat! A tabby cat! Old enough to be an Admiral, too. These Lieutenants bounce around and salute me.”

“Did I mention that I’m a people cat? I sit in your lap. I put my paws on you. I snuggle. I purr. I am Admiral, and I am looking for some loyal human sailors to pilot my ship. I have a commanding voice that I will use to call you when I need some loving – and when I’m hungry.”

“But I don’t stroll around singing sea shanties just for the fun of it. ‘What’ll you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning, Put  him in the longboat till he gets sober , early in the morning, Hi ho and up she rises,   Hi ho and up she rises, Hi ho and up she rises, early in the morning’ Only when I’m happy!”

“I’ve always had people in my life, and I am lonely without my own humans. I know that some humans are the reason I’ve lost my front claws, but I forgive them. As long as I live indoors, I usually don’t need them. But, oh my, I do need people. I need laps – at least one good one – cat beds are good, but they’re not laps. How about Admiral? Bring your $120 to Feline Rescue and take me home.”